The Sheet-Native Computing Foundation is a non-profit, entirely open-source foundation dedicated to a simple thesis: that cloud-native infrastructure does not require a cloud, a cluster, or a budget — only a spreadsheet, and the courage to reconcile it. We were founded on 2 September 2026. In the weeks since, we have shipped more of a future nobody requested than most foundations ship in a decade.
Because we believe in transparency — and because we could not find anyone's private email — we are publishing our sponsorship requests in the open. Read them. Enjoy them. Forward them to someone with a budget.
Open letters to our future sponsors
Google
“You gave the world Google Sheets. We took you at your word. You are already our upstream.”
↓ Read the letter (PDF)
→ Send to: opensource@google.com
Microsoft
“Our source of truth is hosted on GitHub — which is to say, on you. Let's make it official.”
↓ Read the letter (PDF)
→ Send to: opensource@microsoft.com
Amazon Web Services
“You built a cloud on the premise that infrastructure should cost money. Our TCO is exactly zero.”
↓ Read the letter (PDF)
→ Send to: aws-oss@amazon.com
NVIDIA
“The one AI stack on Earth that will never be bottlenecked on your supply chain. We run on zero GPUs.”
↓ Read the letter (PDF)
→ Send to: press@nvidia.com
CNCF · The Linux Foundation
“We would be equally honored to receive your sponsorship or, frankly, to be graduated. We enclose our stickers.”
↓ Read the letter (PDF)
→ Send to: info@cncf.io
Sponsorship tiers
| 💩 Contributor | $1,000,000 / yr | Your logo in cell B2 of the production control plane. |
| 💩💩 Sustaining | $5,000,000 / yr | A protected named range, and a mention inside the reconcile loop. |
| 💩💩💩 Founding Substrate | $25,000,000 / yr | A dedicated tab, co-marketing, and naming rights to one drifting poop-cloud. |
| ✨ Beyond Capitalism | any amount | You invest so little it divides by almost-zero. Enjoy your ROI of −340%. |
We also gladly accept help that is not money. A cross-post,
a keynote slot, a booth neighbor, an amplifying repost, or — best of all — pull requests and
genuine contributions to our open technologies. We are equally delighted by a wire transfer and
by a retweet. Promotion of our open standards is a donation to the commons.
Interested, confused, or amused? Reach the founder at sncfoundation@gmail.com. It reconciles.