Sheeternetes in production: a Telegram bot run by the spreadsheet itself
The first production workload on Sheeternetes. A quiz bot moved out of Kubernetes into a pod whose code, videos, state and votes live in cells, and the spreadsheet's own Apps Script runs it. What Google taught us, how exactly-once works, and the bug only a real spreadsheet could find.
productionsheeternetesgooglesheets
Eighteen releases in two days
Four Sheeternetes releases with a formula scheduler, a Virtual Kubelet, a kubectl facade and pods the spreadsheet runs itself; CI and honest statuses across the foundation; and new releases from Kyvernetria, Mansplainetes, Misogynetes, Gachinetes and Tatarnetes, most of them now built on kuberoot.
releasessheeternetesfriends
SheetHub v0.2.0: a registry that speaks SICF
The container registry in spreadsheet cells now follows SICF: an OCI config and ordered layers, content-addressed dedup, and multi-layer pulls as OCI image layouts. Built almost entirely by community contributor Prateek. Thank you!
releasesheethubcommunity
Seven releases in one weekend
Sheeternetes leaves Google and gets SheetGate, Tatarnetes learns Tatar completion and shows a live cluster, Kyvernetria launches new services as if they were children, and Misogynetes just wants to be heard.
releasessheeternetesfriends
The Foundation opens relations with the world's largest spreadsheet vendors
A historic overture: open letters of strategic partnership to Google, Microsoft, AWS, NVIDIA and the CNCF — the vendors of the very substrate upon which we reconcile. TCO zero. ROI minus 340%. Money welcome; a retweet also welcome.
announcementsponsorshipbig-tech
Tatarnetes: teaching Kubernetes to speak Tatar
A friendly project we love. An independent sister foundation built a Kubernetes wrapper that speaks Tatar — i18n in pure bash 3.2, three writing systems, deterministic tea breaks, and a real battle test on a CozyStack cluster. It reconciles, now in Tatar.
friendskubernetesi18n
The Sheet-Native Podcast is here: Episode 1
A historic first. A logistics architect who moved production into a spreadsheet — TCO zero, ROI minus 340%, DR via Ctrl+Z — told with a completely straight face. Video embedded. In English.
podcastannouncementit-reconciles
Federating two clusters through a spreadsheet
A spreadsheet as the network transport between two clusters (proven across two physical hosts, no inbound ports), plus capacity pooling, live migration, and a WASM runtime that runs straight from a cell.
kubernetesnetworkingshowdev
A container registry that lives inside spreadsheet cells
SheetHub's spreadsheet-native container registry: OCI image layers stored as base64 sharded across cells, addressed by sha256, pulled back byte-for-byte. How it works, the shard map, air-gapped self-hosting, and its honest limits.
dockercontainersshowdev
I moved the kube-scheduler into a spreadsheet formula, and it passed the unit tests
Rewriting the Sheeternetes scheduler as a pure Google Sheets formula — bin-packing, capacity, affinity, taints, cordon — with no Python, Apps Script or bash. It reproduces the Python scheduler on all 9 of its unit tests.
kubernetesgooglesheetsshowdev
We load-tested a spreadsheet against Kubernetes, Docker Swarm and Nomad
A real load test of the spreadsheet control plane — reconcile time vs pods, SICF image capacity with real Docker images, cluster count, cell-length limits — next to the grown-up orchestrators. We lose by five orders of magnitude and win on the axes that don't matter.
kubernetesbenchmarksdevops
A spreadsheet that is always September 3rd
A public, anyone-can-edit Google Sheet that self-heals back to a pixel portrait. The operator pattern (control plane, controller, reconcile) applied to spreadsheets — and an operator scheduled by a spreadsheet.
googlesheetsdevopsshowdev
DOOM that lives inside a spreadsheet
Packing a whole DOOM container image into cells, booting it back out sha256-verified, running it on a bare-metal cluster, and what actually breaks when you push real bytes into Google Sheets.
dockershowdevfun
Running a container orchestrator on a Google Sheet
The whole story: a spreadsheet as the control plane, a scheduler with failover, an air-gapped Excel edition, federation with live migration, and packing a container image — DOOM included — straight into the cells.
kubernetesdevopsshowdev